On some good old fashioned Q+A

Long time no post. It's been a while, but I've been getting some questions about my experience and my life and I figured that I might as well answer them.

Question(s) of the day: What is life like? What are some things that you wished people knew about having cancer? How do you support someone with cancer?

I think right off of the bat I want to strike down a pretty common misconception (at least for leukemia). That is that the cancer isn't the only thing that makes me sick. In fact, the thing that makes me the sickest is the chemo. Chemotherapy is a double-edged sword. Its purpose is to kill the cancer cells and prevent them from coming back, which it does. But, it can't differentiate between cancer cells and healthy cells. This means that while the chemo does kill the cancer cells, it also kills some healthy ones, which makes me sick. And I still get chemo in remission, even though there aren't any more cancer cells. Why do I still need chemo? Because there is always a chance that I could relapse (this means that the cancer can come back). I'll still take chemo for two more years as a precaution. These chemo treatments are especially important because if they miss even one cancer cell, it would turn into a relapse. From there we go back to the drawing board in terms of protocols and treatments.

 

Another thing that I want people to know is that every single day is different. One day I could wake up feeling terrible physically and super grumpy, and the next day I could wake up feeling like I'm on top of the world. I don't really know what to chalk this up to. These constant mood swings can make it pretty hard when someone is asking how to help. To be honest, sometimes I don't know how people can help. But, there are things that always help me feel better. 

I want to give a shoutout to my friends. Whenever I'm down, they always seem to make me feel better. Every week we have at least one friend zoom, and it's always the thing I look forward to the most. We play games, talk, and mess around. But my favorite part of these meets is that for a while everything feels like it goes back to normal. Suddenly the cancer goes away. The worries, the extra supplies (like my NG tube), the pain. For just a little bit I can forget about what's going on and be a regular teenager again. It's easily the highlight of my week. 

Sometimes when I'm down I find that reaching out can be a lot to process. I'm not saying that it is a bad thing (trust me, sometimes all I need is encouragement and love from people). I'm just saying that sometimes when I don't feel good I just want to be alone. Something that you can do to help out is to learn a little more about what I'm going through, and understand that if you reach out and I don't respond, it just means that I don't have the energy right in that moment. Please don't stop reaching out though. 

I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while. I will keep on trying to remember to post more regularly. Thank you for being a part of my journey, and if you have any questions feel free to comment.

-Adeline Jansson